My first gay date
You can see available men in the area for just about every purpose under the sun. A lot of men are out there just looking for dates and friends while others are out there to simply have some fun without any strings attached. The stereotypical hookup of meeting minutes before meaningless sex is a Grindr classic.
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On the other hand, people have met long term partners or even their future husbands on Grindr. I have always thought that you go on Tinder to find something a little more meaningful whether it be a long term relationship or even just friends with benefits; something more than meaningless sex. For straight people however, Tinder acts as the primary app to hookup with people.
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Gay men usually take more time on their profiles. People try and go beyond their physical attributes, which is a flaw to Grindr, in order to find something meaningful in this sex-crazed world. This is another cornerstone to the gay dating dilemma, only meeting other gays through friends, never just out in the wild. It is true however that this is a common occurrence in middle and high school, especially in the Midwest where there are not large concentrations of gay men everywhere. As you get older and are more apt to find yourself in gayer spaces, it becomes easier to date.
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A lot of gay dating happens through a facilitator of some sort, whether it be an app or a friend, face to face meetings occur more frequently when you are able to put yourself into these more diverse spaces. It becomes possible to meet A local gay rather than THE local gay, implying there to not be many options. Well, one can hope at least! Bask in it. There is nothing to dictate who opens doors, pulls out a chair, or gets the drinks.
Like so many things in this cruel world, first-date-kissing can be an anxiety-provoking experience, especially for two women free from those weird heteronormative rules about who should make the first move. I say, as long as you both consent, anything goes. If it feels right, compliment your date, touch her arm, and make eye contact.
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And if the vibe is right, consider a kiss. Is her body language open and inviting? Trying to be cool all the time is officially cancelled.
On dates, I frequently think back to a piece of job interview advice I once got. If you want to wear a bralette, a leather jacket, and bold red lipstick, do it. If you feel more comfortable in a maxi dress, messy bun, and mascara, go for it. If your eyes light up when you mention your niece, tell your date about your favorite memory with her. When you are comfortable, you are most yourself. Be polite but then when the time is right, get up and say thank you, next.
Did you have fun? Did it not go perfectly? Similar to Tinder, Surge has a pretty straightforward interface, and despite a lot of initial buzz around their launch, I never really managed to get any traction using the app. It looked sleek and felt cool as well as inclusive, but nothing ever seemed to come from it.
The app is more popular in Asia which makes it useful for travelers to the region, or locals living there—but the most I ever had on the app were short conversations, and nothing meaningful. For review purposes, the Raya app works well enough, but its most interesting feature is its ability to connect you with interesting people. Because the Raya app is tied to your Instagram, it can be a cool way to connect digitally—if you can snag that initial interest. Hashtag Gay Twitter GayTwitter is a real and true community.
Flirty DMs and dick pics show up regularly enough, and the thotty pics that Insta-celebrities post only incite an already flirtatious online community in the app. Dating has never been easy, and when many of these gay apps came into the picture, things certainly changed. In my experience, many of these dating apps have made it easier to connect with other people I may not normally been able to encounter—whether because of distance or our own comfort levels at interacting in person.
There are so many gay dating apps in the market today. And besides all the specific apps, there are websites and forums as well—ones used for connections with like-minded individuals, ones for sex workers, for sharing nudes, for purposeful dating, or any other manner of online connections. And the funny thing? Have a suggestion for another gay dating app I should review? Leave a comment or slide into my Instagram DMs. Looking for a place to stay?
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